July 1999

Here I am again, restless and frustrated.  I seem to have every kind of block possible right now... writer's block, artist's block, gamer's block.  I need a vacation.  Time seems to be running past me, and I can't keep up.  The other day I noticed my daughter was getting a tooth, her first.  She'll be a year old in August, and I can't believe it.   Has it been a year already?  What happened to 1998?  How did I miss it?   And I'll be a year older in August too.  So will my husband.  We also have our anniversary in August.  And all I can think is "Has it really been a year?  Or was I just drugged?"

  I've been thinking a lot about the future.   Not the immediate future, next week or whatever, but 50 years down the road.   What will be different?  What will be the same?  My daughter will be 51 years old.  I'll be a great-grandmother by then.  How will I ever keep my sanity when I think about things like this?  Of course, the Xtians could all be right and I'll be dead by the end of the year anyway.  You can't predict what will happen.   You just have to take a chance and make a decision.  It may not be the right decision right away, but maybe, in the long run, it will work out.  I hope so.